8/4/2001:

This one was written back in the spring, but I feel its pain, even now. Not a sharp bit of pain, but an old ache as I think of opportunities missed and feelings hurt.

I wanted to post this port today with a sense of joy as my week turned itself around. Unfortunately, not 3 hours ago, it went back into the toilet. Sorry.

Our movie didn't make it into the semifinals of the contest here. I'm shocked and stunned (both not in a good way). I didn't think it was good enough to win the grand prize, but it's definitely better than some of the ones that did make it. There's that ego creeping in, sure, but it's not just me. Enough people have expressed shock that our movie didn't make it to make me feel slightly justified in taking this position.

I'm upset, of course. Anyone who knows me knows that I don't take losing very gracefully. The stock response I've been giving here is that I just wish our movie had made it to the voting round so that we could see how Apple liked it. But while that's sort of true, in reality I just feel like my artistic baby has been rejected.

So, not wanting that rejection to feel all lonely by itself, I asked Sparky out to dinner. Whoops. Rejection #2. But this one's a familiar (almost expected) one so I can handle it. Mix the two and you've got a pretty potent cocktail, which will hopefully be joined by real cocktails later tonight as I drown my sorrows and liver in a sea of alcohol. Anyone got some painkillers as a chaser? Thanks. <gulp> Aaaaaah.

To note, the preceding comic passage was in no way intended to promote the use of prescription painkillers and alcohol together and in an underage body. Said passage was clearly meant to show the depths of my momentary depression so as to engender some feelings of support and kind pity (none of that simple pity for me!)

Oh, yeah, more pissing and moaning about the movies: They are considered internal Apple property now so I had to take down the copy on Mac.com. Sorry.

Sorry to leave you on such a bummer, but hey, I ordered an iBook 2001 the other day so hopefully that'll come soon and brighten my spirits. Yay for a external physical affirmation of my worth which will become a sadly anthropomorphic companion which is pretty impressive for a collection of plastic and silicon made by this company which hires certain employees incapable of adequately judging a simple movie contest on artistic merit and funny boy band dancing.

Yow, I feel like Zach Stroum.

Bye. I'll be better later.

-kip