11/17/2001:

To be fair, I had the same sort of expectations for friends in high school. I blame the media. I mean hell, think of the show. "Friends." I don't have that. I'm not dissing my close friends here, and especially not Sil. But for them, I am not their only friend. I constantly ask them to introduce me to people... but do I ever return the favor? It's rare.

Yesterday, I went to this bar night for a fundraiser. Drink, and the proceeds go to charity! I went with Jason and two of his friends (and the evidence mounts for my theories) and... wow. Uncomfortability... How are you supposed to interact in this environment? Yelling at people, smoke in the eyes, every girl's got a foot on me? I left early, and heard during lunch about the great time I missed. So, imagine... Kip with cockiness. I would've danced with girls, glared down the sweaty oafs barreling through me (they pick me to cut around, since I'm usually on the edge of those aforementioned groups), and... been able to talk about it later.

The only time I've enjoyed myself in this sort of large group social interaction was during my birthday in SF. Like I said at the time, everyone paid attention to me, and it's not that I'm some sort of egomaniac (ok, ok, you're reading my web journal, and I love you for it. I am an egomaniac, with all the insecurities that accompany that), where was I, oh yes, everyone paid attention to me. So if I were the sort of person who people usually paid attention to, I'd have better times at places like this.

The punchline panel is something I've had kicking around for a while, I was just looking for a situation to put in front of it.

I should be sleeping right now, in preparation for an improv rehearsal tomorrow morning. That's my working excuse for not doing anything raucous tonight. I saw a play. Came home. Wrote strip and listened to a Erasure album twice. Watched the Buffy Musical on Tivo, and am currently typing this (to the tune of more Erasure).

These are the days that are to be the best of my life.

I really can't wait for Sil to come home. Not to put too much pressure on her (sorry, buddy), but the days I spend with her are good days. That's why when I was thinking of people to room with, I only was rock solid on saying, "I want to live with Sil." Because who wouldn't want to have good days, every day?

I wish you good night, and a good day

-kip

Song for today is I Need Direction by Teenage Fanclub.

I used to feel fine
you were to be mine
I need direction
to take me to you
I've asked the sunshine
shadowed the skyline
I need direction
to take me to you
I get brainwaves
I get visions
slow reaction
superstition
I need the ways and means to get through
I need an open heart to look to
nobody sees the same way I do
I need direction to get through
followed the ley lines
the faded out road signs
I need direction
to take me to you
I get spellbound
I get visions
slow advances
indecision
I need the ways and means to get through
I need an open heart to look to
nobody sees the same way I do
I need direction to get through
Honest I'd feel fine
if you were to be mine
I need direction to take me to you